Do you ever have those moments when you are like, “Wait, what just happened? Where did the time go?”

Yep. That’s where I am at this moment in my life.

How do I have a son that is a freshman in high school? Wasn’t I just at Cathedral High School? Am I really a grown-up now and married to my high school sweetheart with 4-kids, a dog, a mortgage, wrinkles and middle age issues.  Did I spend the last 6-years in Boston? Has it really been almost 3-years since I have written a blog post?!

Can you relate to time flying by?

I feel like I have gone through so many crazy phases in life when I was in 100% SURVIVAL MODE. I was just getting through the days. Honestly, that may have been the majority of my motherhood & basketball coach’s wife journey, so far!

I’m grateful to be at the somewhat unique position to have left a place (West Lafayette, IN) 6-years ago and come back exactly how we were, yet completely different.

I’m at a point to be able to step-back and see how my path has been perfectly paved.

Have you taken time to reflect on your journey, so far?

If not, maybe now is the time! It’s amazing to look back at the patterns, both positive and negative, that appear throughout your life. It’s also beneficial to think about how you have changed and remained the same over the years.

I recently completed an exercise where I had to fill out a timeline of all the significant moments in my life….from when I was born in 1977 until the present day.

There were many positive moments, but the ones that stuck out were the hard ones. It was the situations along the way that were bumpy and took me out of my comfort zone that I highlighted.

It’s the challenging times that bring out the strength, love and infinite possibilities within you.

We all have things from our childhood that shape how we are as adults, both positive and negative. The issues come out at different times throughout our journey at varying levels.

Motherhood was the point in my life when my issues came out in full force. My lack of self-compassion and self-love, my Irish temper, my self-doubt, anxiety and depression all came to the forefront after I had my second son in 2007 and escalated when my daughter was born shortly after.

Three kids in 4-years, multiple jobs and a husband gone most of the time was too much for me to handle with zero self-care. 

The reason I feel passionate about the work I do now is because young adult, motherless and new mama Molly craved someone to teach her the value of SELF-LOVE in her life.

I didn’t know that I didn’t have to feel anxious all of the time.

I didn’t realize there was a better way than anger, stress and yelling at my kids.

I didn’t understand that I was not responsible for everyone else’s actions. 

I didn’t know there was a positive solution to feeling resentful for a husband who was always gone and moved me away from my family and support system.

I had no clue that my self-talk was horrific, because it had been so engrained I didn’t even notice.

It’s interesting because some of the basic concepts and tools I find the most helpful for myself and in my coaching practice, such as meditation, non-judgment, love vs. fear, faith, forgiveness, non-judgment, and being true to ourselves were introduced to me by my mom before she died when I was 22.

But, I have realized a few things since then….

• SELF-COMPASSION was missing.
• SELF-CARE takes on a completely different meaning when you become a parent.
• PRESENCE is a game-changer.
• SELF-LOVE is the foundation of everything.
• You will only learn these different concepts when YOU ARE READY.

Do the best you can until you know better.

Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou

Since I lost my mom and my coach, I gradually learned the true meaning of these concepts over time through training and self-discovery. Each tiny lesson I learned turned into shifts of more LOVE in my life. More JOY. More PERSPECTIVE. More PRESENCE. More SELF-COMPASSION and SELF-CARE.

Everyone is on their own journey and will learn what they want, when they want. However, I want to be there for anyone who is ready and looking for support. The most frustrating part along my journey was WANTING to feel better, but not knowing where to turn. It’s hard to feel alone. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!

I love being at a somewhat calm point in my life (I say that lightly) to look back, enjoy the moment and envision my future (still TBD!) It’s nice to stop and take a huge deep breath and say PHEW it’s been a tough journey.

I wouldn’t change anything in my past, even though there were plenty of mistakes and losses along the way. I’m a big believer that nothing happened TO ME, but everything happened FOR ME.

I updated the About Me to reflect the 2019 version of my journey. MY STORY, so far. We love being back at Purdue (even though I’m an IU grad!) and close to family again. I listened to my hubby a few weeks ago on the Boiler Ball podcast sharing his journey, so far.

It was mainly basketball focused, as mine is mostly focused on wellness, but it was fun to think about how much we have grown together since we met at Cathedral and what life was like for us personally, each step along the way.

We both have different purposes that seem to be perfectly intermingled. Not to mention our amazing little Shrews Crew we would do anything for!

Thank YOU for being a part of our journey and crossing our paths in the past, present and future!

Would love to hear about your journey, so far. What are the biggest lessons you’ve learned?!

Join me on Facebook to chat! Please reach out if you would like support in your self-love journey and pass along to anyone you think may be searching for a little help along their journey!

Love & gratitude,