I know it might seem strange, but after the horrific attacks on Paris Friday, I have been overwhelmed with this deep sense of love.

Okay, not right away. Shock, sadness, and disgust were my initial reactions.

The problem of hatred and terrorism is vast and can feel overwhelming. Hopelessness, grief and anger can consume you.

It is devastating.

However, I have been viewing this act as a bold reminder that we each have the opportunity responsibility to emphasize peace and love within our own world.

Starting with unconditional self-love.

Then spreading that love to those around us, especially our kids.

I always struggle with finding the balance of protecting my kids from the hatred, fear & negativity in the world with making sure they realize how fortunate they are and fostering compassion and giving.

When the Sandyhook tragedy happened 3 years ago, I was sickened and honestly didn’t want my kids to know anything about it.  They were 3, 5 and 7 at the time.

I thought they were too young to understand what was going on and decided to keep media off and shelter them from the reality of what happened. Since it was an elementary school shooting, it seemed that it would invoke more fear and confusion than any good that could come out of them knowing what happened.

I also researched to see what was age-appropriate and primarily found not to bring it up, unless they asked. (I liked this article the most from Aha! Parenting and it is actually really helpful for dealing with Paris and any tough tragedy.)

My 2^nd grader’s K-3 elementary school had other thoughts about it. They went the route of kindness and held a fund-raiser and had the students make cards for the families of the shooting victims.

I loved the generosity and compassion it promoted, but wasn’t thrilled at having the stark discussion with my son.

My thoughts have changed as the years have gone on and my children have aged. Now 2, 6, 8, and 10, I still keep the news off, but have open age-appropriate discussions.

We talk about the fact that there are many people in the world that do bad things.

Yesterday, when we were talking about it my 6-year old daughter said, “They probably need more love.”

Yes, they definitely need more love.

I emphasized how we can’t change people or make them stop doing bad things, but we can spread our own love, kindness and compassion in the world.

We create the world around us. If we project love, love will come back to us. Or at least we hope it will.

We have regular discussions about the racism, ignorance and judgment that is present in the world.

We encourage inclusion, non-judgment, education and peace.

We emphasize love, gratitude and giving.

Last night, I realized that my 5^th grader had posted this Jean Jullien “Peace for Paris” photo on his Instagram account Saturday.

Ironically, I had tweeted the same photo with thoughts of peace and love, but he hadn’t seen it. “I’m not allowed to have Twitter, remember Mom,” when I asked if he saw my message.

It is a beautiful photo, with a clear and simple message that has since gone viral.

Peace. Love. Compassion. Support.

You try to do what you can, even if that is simply sending love and prayers.

More importantly, as a parent or really any adult, remembering that you have the power to influence and mold our kids.

What message do you want to spread?

Fear, anger, judgment, exclusion, fighting and hatred?

Or

Love, kindness, compassion, non-judgment, acceptance and peace?

I know I have the power to spread the latter and that is why I am filled with love at a time of such sadness and hatred.

What about you? I would love to hear your thoughts. How do you react during these situations? How do you handle these conversations with your kids?

Lots of love,

Molly

P.S. Here’s a good article on addressing your feelings…projecting love doesn’t mean ignoring the feelings of anxiety, fear or sadness!