I’m co-hosting a wellness retreat for women in Tulum in January. It’s our 5th annual wellness retreat, but first out of the Boston suburbs and onto the pristine beaches of Mexico. 

I love planning retreats and events because of the people. I have amazing co-leaders and love bringing women together. I’ve continued to be inspired each and every time! 

The most fascinating part of planning and hosting wellness related activities, which I have been doing regularly for the past 6-years, is the resistance women have allowing themselves to participate in something that is FOR THEM. 

Whether its an 1-hour class, a 1/2 day workshop, full day retreat, 6-week group, a girls dinner, a day-trip, a destination retreat or an informal gathering about self-care, the majority of women I talk to have a million reasons why they would love to join, but can’t pull it off. 

I know it’s not just me or what I’m offering, 😂, because I’ve heard this with many things I’ve attended, not just hosted.  

It happens with phenomenal worldwide speakers, like Gabby Bernstein, Byron Katie, Gretchen Rubin, and amazing life coaches, nutritionists, yoga teachers, functional medicine doctors, mindfulness experts, or fitness trainers. 

The reasons….

It didn’t matter if it was a free spin class, yoga, movie screenings, nutritious plant-based food, or educational get-together learning about holistic wellness, consistently I heard…

“I would love to, but…”

 “Amazing, I wish.” 

“Just what I need, but I don’t think I can swing it”

“That sounds amazing, but my husband would kill me if I’m not home tonight.”

“I could use that right now, but….”

“I can’t ask for help.” 

“I would, but I feel guilty.”  

Of course, there are always legit conflicts or the event didn’t align with their priorities or the topic wasn’t of interest. I realize those are all a big part of saying no.

When it comes to going on a 5-day retreat, that is an entirely different set of logistics and favors to pull off. I understand!

I GET IT!

As a mom of 4 busy, athletic kiddos and a husband gone most of the time, I 100% GET IT!   I find myself in the same situations, often. It’s not easy to ask for help. It’s complicated enough trying to get everyone where they are supposed to be, let alone trying to coordinate things if I’m not there! 

Although, this is been a huge area of improvement for me, there are still times that the effort of being somewhere I would rather be seems too hard to deal with, so I just say NO. 

Other times, I prioritize my kiddos or my husband’s games, because I WANT to be there to support them. I want to be at the activity or home or birthday party or whatever the kids event may be and CHOOSE to say no because it aligns with what I want.

I understand and 100% relate! Life is FULL. Time is PRECIOUS. Money is SACRED.

The underlying reason…

But, I think there is another thing at play that needs to be discussed. As women and especially as moms or other caregivers, we are conditioned to put everyone else FIRST.  

Society and often negative events from our childhood, whether subtle or large, have instilled this underlying feeling of unworthiness. 

Often the excuses aren’t because you really do not WANT to go on the retreat or girls trip or dinner or enroll in a new class or sit in a coffee shop to read or hire a coach or begin a new career or volunteer or whatever it may be – it’s that subconsciously you don’t think you are truly worthy of it. 

Sometimes, it’s not subconscious. You straight up don’t feel like you deserve it. You feel guilty.  You are scared to ask for help. You don’t want to disappoint anyone. You feel inadequate comparing yourself to others. You are afraid.

But, mostly, those feelings of unworthiness (and fear, guilt, inadequacy) are hidden deep down. They are sneaky and they are destructive.

You don’t even realize they are there. But, they impact your decisions. Those deep-seated feelings play a role when you say no to yourself and yes to others.

The reminder…

You DO deserve love. You DO deserve to be fulfilled. You are allowed to be HAPPY!

When you learn to make decisions based out of love and not fear, the unworthiness disappears. Decisions will come easily to you. You learn to listen to and trust your intuition. F

You will go with your gut feeling before you start over-thinking things, especially when it comes to self-care.

The brain just needs to be reminded and re-trained. Trained towards worthiness, self-compassion, self-kindness and love.

My hope is that you are already filled with self-love, worthiness and the ease to say YES to yourself. If not, I hope this serves as a gentle reminder.

YOU ARE WORTHY.

Listen to your inner wise self. 

YOU ARE LOVED.

Follow your heart. 

YOU MATTER.

Trust your intuition/higher power/Spirit/God/The Universe. 

YOU DESERVE LOVE, JOY AND TO BE YOUR BEST SELF! 

I hope that you can take a minute to think about where you fall on your priority list. To notice how you feel when you make your decisions. And to always listen to your heart.

Of course, I would love love love for you to join me in Tulum to chat about these things and work on being our best selves and making the world a better place! If it aligns with your priorities, of course!

Have a great weekend!!!

“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.” – Brene Brown